I’ve fallen out of love – or even like, for that matter.
No, it’s not a man. It’s this city. Whatever allure it once held over me has long since evaporated, much like the cottony mists capping the blue-black hills that I see each morning, once they have been touched by one blistering finger of the sun’s rays.
I almost have a sense of disloyalty to feel this way, having been a born-and-bred Kingstonian all my life. Even my three-year tenure in Mandeville failed to woo me away then. If anything, it drove me most weekends back to the familiarity of family, friends, and slices of excitement that Kingston offered.
Never did I imagine that the day would dawn when I would become jaded and disillusioned with this mecca of opportunity and activity. But, perhaps it was those little, accumulated moments that had chipped away at the edges of my emotion, quietly, imperceptibly. Seemingly insignificant vignettes of my life. The crass taxidriver behind me at the traffic light, who creatively strung flamboyant expletives together, making sure to include certain delicate parts of my anatomy in his diatribe, simply because I was a second too late in moving off when the light flashed green. The daily battle to avoid inhaling carcinogenic fumes from the exhaust pipes of vehicles and industrial sites alike. Fresh air seems to be becoming more of an oxymoron. I suspect that if the pollution doesn’t do me in, my boss’ incessant smoking will.
But, for me, above all the plausible reasons that could be given, is what Kingston has become, or is becoming. A grotesque mutation of all the accumulated rage, hatred, selfishness, greed, and countless other vices. This place is no longer the city of my childhood, or of my mother’s and grandmother’s memories, narrated to me in times past like bedtime stories. Now, it frightens me, this Grendel. A slumbering ogre, gradually being roused by the jarring noise of the city.
No longer can my easygoing nature endure the frenetic pace here. In recent times, I’ve been mulling over making a rural move. It’s more a matter of when, rather than if. Now all that’s left to decide on is the where.
Ah, but can the city girl now segue seamlessly into a country lass? With a cottage to boot?
10 Comments
October 4, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Bobby: I suspect that this disease was caused by the Industrial Revolution. At the risk of sounding pessimistic, I doubt there’s a cure. Technology has come at a great cost to humanity.
Adrian: Hmmm, I wonder if something can be done about that, re the job situation.
October 4, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Don’t think i am ready to make that move to the country just yet…..but i know exactly how you feel…
But if more people that have this idea and end up to the country areas….then guess what will soon happen to those areas?…Mark you, it will take some time for that to happen…..
October 4, 2007 at 9:20 pm
I guess it is the same all over the world. The city becomes a beast that cannot be tamed.
In Barbados the city is a breathing economic behemoth. Forward advancement in industries, business, and other endeavors has taken hold of the place. It is suffering from its economic and industrial growth.
A simple 15 minute drive to and in the city requires loads of patience and motivation to stay trapped in a traffic jam for an hour or more. So many cars…it is sure madness.
To get away you have to go to the country on some meandering road to find some sort of solace. I grew up in the city of Tenantry houses, and the trip to my grandmother’s sister in the country was always a wonderful thing to do.
Have faith friend.
PEACE…
October 5, 2007 at 10:20 am
no, you’re not alone. most of my friends will tell you fyr’s #1 dream is a yam hill, a little house nearby with a t1 line marring the landscape of this completely rural image…. and guess what? daFyr was born and bred in Kingston herself. i am so sick of the city it isn’t even funny anymore.
be comforted, is nat you wan!
October 9, 2007 at 2:09 am
I agree. If I become financially well off, I want to have a second house in one of those “urbanized” rural towns. Just to get away from Kingston sometime. It’s becoming too violent.